I got a crush on Billy
by McGorgeous
Summary: This is a Private Practice fan fiction.About Violets dream to be with Bill Clinton. It is finally coming true.Please enjoy our fic, and, it s pure satire. Not serious, entire Oceanside staff included addison, naomi, cooper, sam, dell ENJOY! REVIEW PLS
1. Chapter 1

So, at first: This chapter is dedicated to Ferdinand Larice, for well, being who you are, giving us the inspiration of a real manwhore ;)

And of course my wonderful co-writer wu!!!

People, this fic is just satire! Don´t take it serious.

The idea came up when I watched the part when Violet talked about Bill and her dream about him. And well, I was listening to "I got a crush on Obama" which now explains the title

I do still NOT own anything! I´m still 15, only for 11 days!! YAY. I do NOT own Private Practice, as a matter of fact I do NOT own anything except my DVDs, books, my sarcasm and a sparkling personality. So, please don´t sue me, for both of our sake, you´ll only be broke after ;)

**And now something that is pretty important to me, so, I´d appreciate if you´d read:**

**Cancer is an often discussed topic. Especially breast cancer, and as a girl, I just want to say that just discussing it doesn´t help. So please, get checked regularly before it is to****o**** late!**

**Enjoy the fic and please read and review!!**

**I Got A Crush On Billy**

„Are you freaking kidding me?!" Hillary furiously said and shot her husband who sat right next her a look. He glared back, just as mad as she was

„Okay, let´s just calm down" Violet interrupted the couple „you have issues we need to work on and yelling doesn´t help. So, take a deep breath and calm down"

„Why should I calm down?!" Bill looked at his with and spoke through gridded teeth „You´re the one to blame! You slept with Ferdinand!" Ferdinand Larice was Hillary´s secretary and she had an affair with him for a while and now she wanted the divorce. _Look at the irony _was all Violet could actually think about all that.

Hillary let out a laugh „Ahh, you´re the one to talk! Mister President who had an affair with his slut of secretary! And what Ferdie and I have is different!"

„What the hell are you talking about?! I made a mistake! One mistake!"

And again she had to fight a laugh „Yeah, and what was about Caroline" she held up one finger „Angela" second finger „Patricia" the third finger where her rings sparkled „and what was that French girl´s name again? Jacqueline? "She frowned at her husband

„Janine" he mumbled his response and the self-satisfied grin on her face grew bigger

„So, anyway" Hillary turned to Violet „I think we´re through with therapy and trying, thanks a lot for your help Dr Turner" Hillary gave the shocked therapist a polite smile and left

Violet then turned to Bill, who ran his fingers through his grey hair and gosh he looked so sexy when he did that. Violet bit her lip _Oh my god, you can´t fall for a patient! Why can´t I? _said a small voice in her head that became louder and louder every time she saw him _Because it´s wrong! But how can it be wrong? He just looks so good… Oh god, I´m staring at him… Focus Violet! _She got herself back into reality

"Bill, I know that must be hard for you" she said in her comforting shrink voice

"Well, it´s not like I didn´t see it coming and I am also to blame. But why the divorce now?" he looked devastated and he knew she could not answer this question, so he continued "Anyway Dr Turner, I was wondering if you would mind if I´d invite you to dinner some time? To thank you for all the work you´ve with Hill and me"

"No, of course I don´t mind" she said with a wide smile on the shimmering lips. She put on some gloss before the session and yes, she knew that it was totally pathetic.

"Good, are you free on Saturday?"

"Uhm, that´s tomorrow…" Violet was going through her timer in her head "sounds perfect" she said after a while

"Great, I´ll pick you up at eight" he said with a charming smile as he got up

"I´ll see you then" she smiled back and when he had left she sighed relieved and let herself fall back in her chair to just be happy for a while and get lost in her thoughts.

XXX

In her coffee break, Violet headed towards the doctors lounge to get some food.

When she walked in she saw Cooper, her best friend, leaning against the counter.

"How did it go with your crush?" he asked teasingly

"Shut up! And he is not my crush!" she shot him a look when she walked over to the fridge and opened it, with the intention of getting a yoghurt

"Yah, so, you never wished he´d ask you out? And you never told him how sexy he looks when he does that hair thing?" Cooper smiled, obviously satisfied with himself

"So what? You date weird women from the internet who steal from you! And your totally ruining my date tomorrow with –" her eyes widened. _Did I just let it slip? Oh god, no!_

"Your date" Cooper had to control himself not to burst into laughter "How cute" he said laughing, not able to hold it back any longer

"What´s going on?" Addison asked when she and Pete entered the room

It took Cooper a while to stop laughing and get out his answer "Violet has a crush on Mr President and is going out with him tomorrow" he immediately went back to laughing at his friend

"You what?" Addison asked, also with a smile of disbelieve on the lips

"You didn´t even vote for him" Pete said and walked next to Addison

"That´s what I´m saying!" Cooper gasped between laughs

"HEY! You all told me to start dating again! To get out there! I am and now you´re mocking me!" Violet said turning to her smiling friends

"Yeah, you´re right, sorry Vi" they all said and made their way outside, turning their backs to Violet so she wouldn´t see them grinning

"Violet and Bill, sittin on a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G" Addison said in a childish tone when she walked outside and they all burst into laughter again


	2. Mr Bombastic

**A/N: **Seriously, you have to listen to Shaggy's "Mr. Bombastic" when you read the scene with Bill stepping out of the water!!!!!! xD and omg about the Tiger comment, that's from Moulin Rouge! I did NOT make this up! Even I am NOT that dirty-minded!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything, though I'm 16 now

**THIS IS NOT SERIOUS!!! I DO NOT HAVE THE HOTS FOR BILL CLINTON **(sorry if you read that Bill :P)

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**Mr. Bombastic**

_Mr. Bombastic  
__What you want is some B__ombastic romantic fantastic lover  
__Shaggy  
__Mr. Lover __lover__, Mr. Lover __lover__, girl, Mr__. Lover __lover  
__She call me Mr. B__ombastic say me fantastic, touch me in me back  
__she say I'm Mr. Ro...__mantic  
__She call me Mr. B__ombastic say me fantastic, touch me in me back she say  
__I'm __ro__... Smooth just like silk  
__Soft and coddle hug me up like a quit  
__I'm a lyrical lover no take me for no filth  
__With my sexual physique __Jah__ know me well built  
__Oh me oh my well __well__ can't you tell  
__I'm just like a turtle crawling out of my shell  
__Gal you captivate my body put me under a spell  
__With your __cus__cus__ perfume I love your sweet smell  
__You are the only young girl that can ring my bell  
__And I can take rejection so you tell me go to hell_

Violet was nervous, she was pacing. After all, she Violet Turner was having a date with Mr. President. And oh how hot he looked.

Her friends made fun of her, of course, she knew they would but she couldn't care less. She was having a date with the guy who's poster she kissed when she was younger. THE guy. She didn't know what to wear, she didn't know where they were going. And Violet felt like she was going to have a heart attack soon.

"Tell me why you're going out with him again." Addison leaned in the doorframe, looking at Naomi and then at Violet.

"Because! Could we now just drop it?"

"Sure, sure, but why are you drooling when you just look at him?" Naomi bit the insides of her cheeks and tried to look serious.

"Okay, that's it, OUT!" Violet ushered them out of her room, closing the door behind her friends.

"Oh god you could see Bill Clinton in trunks." Addison burst out in laughter and Naomi joined her.

"And why would that be?" Violet asked, she was annoyed with the childish behavior of her friends.

"Well, Ms. Smartpants, or should I say Mrs. I' –wanna-screw-the-president?" Naomi mocked and Violet could hear her and Addison laugh before Naomi continued "Anyway, there is a beach, there is sun and we're in LA, so, that's what Addison meant. Might wanna pack a bikini."

_I'm Mr. Bo__mbastic say me fantastic touch me in my back she says I'm __Mr  
__Ro...mantic  
__I'm Mr. Bo__mbastic say me fantastic touch me in my back sh__e says boom__boom__boom  
__I'm Mr. B__ombastic say me fantastic touch me in my back she says I'm __Mr  
__Ro...mantic  
__I'm Mr. B__ombastic say me fantastic touch me in my back she says boom  
__boom  
__boom  
__Gee wheeze baby please  
__Let me take you to an island of the sweet cool breeze  
__You don't fell like drive baby hand me the keys  
__And I'll take you to a place to set your mind at ease  
__Don't you tickle my foot bottom ha __ha__ baby please  
__Don't you play with my nose I might ha chum sneeze  
__Well you a the bun and me a the cheese  
__And if me a the rice well you a the peas_

Later at her date Violet and her Mr. Hero Guy walked down the beach, apperantly Addison had been right, she was going to see Bill Clinton, aka sexiest man alive, in trunks!!! Her heart started racing.

"So, you wanna go for a swim?"

Violet looked at the sexy man in front of her, she could have jumped him right there. "Sure." She said, her tone a little more husky than she had wanted it to be. Bill gave her a smile in return.

Just a little while later Bill stepped out of the water and Violet's jaw dropped.

He was wearing pink trunk that went perfectly with the grey strands in his hair. The water was dripping off his body, which was glistering in the sun.

Everything seemed to happen in a really slow pace, Bill threw Violet a sexy glare as he licked his already moist lips. To Violet it seemed like every woman on the beach was staring at her Mr. Bombastic. '

_Ohhhh__ my god!!!! He looks so fine, like a real tiger __roarrr__' _

Mr. President made his way over to her and the closer he came, the faster her heart started beating and the more she wanted to jump him and take him right there on the beach. She wanted to pounce him and show Billy that kitties indeed can scratch.

_Give me your loving gal your loving well good  
__I want your loving gal give it like you should  
__Give me your loving gal your loving well good  
__I want your loving gal you remember th__e woo  
__Would like to kiss and ca__ress  
__Rub down every st__rand of hair on my chest  
__I'm Bo__mbastic rated as the best  
__The best you should get nothing more nothing less  
__Give me your digits jot down your address  
__I'll bet you confess when you put me to the test  
__That I'm_

"Hey." Violet tried to hide her desires, which were pretty obvious due the husky tone her voice was showed.

"You don't wanna go in?"

Violet had to try really hard not to stare at his hot body, doing her best to focus on his eyes. His brown intoxicating eyes. "I-I-I'm sure." She finally breathed out, feeling as if she was thirteen all over again and trying to tell her gym teacher that he has a sweet tush, which Violet Turner never had had the guts to. "You look… hot." She admitted, blushing slightly, however at this point she couldn't care less, because Mr. Bombastic was kissing her heatedly.

_Gal your admiration if a tick me from the start  
__With your physical attraction gal you know to feel the spark  
__A man of few word __naw__ go tell you no sweet talk  
__Naw__ go __laba__laba__ and a chat pure __phart  
__I'll get straight to the point like a arrow or a dart  
__Come lay down in my __jacuzzi__ and get some bubble bath  
__Only sound you will here is the beating of my heart  
__And we will __mmm__mmm__ (kiss) and have some sweet pillow talk  
__I'm_

_I'm Mr. Bo__mbastic say me fantastic touch me in my back she says I'm __Mr  
__Ro...mantic  
__I'm Mr. Bo__mbastic say me fantastic touch me in my back sh__e says boom  
__boom  
__boom  
__I'm Mr. B__ombastic say me fantastic touch me in my back she says I'm __Mr  
__Ro...__mantic  
__I'm Mr. B__ombastic say me fantastic touch me in my back she says boom  
__boom  
__boom_

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Song by Shaggy.

So, did anyone like it?!  
Does ANYONE want me to continue???

**GIMME**


End file.
